On January 20, 2017 I was acutely sure of one thing: whatever happened I could not die for at least four more years. I was hoping of course to have very many more years, but still the thought of dying before seeing decency return to United States leadership became a fear that paralyzed me. The United States was after all the place I chose to live when I was 19 years old, the country that liberated mine from a devastating war, the country that taught the world about inalienable rights.
Kate's and Anthony Bourdain's deaths make me sadder than I could ever imagine. I don't know Anthony, but he seemed like decency personified. Decency doesn't require piety, decency means trying to do the right thing whenever you can. We needed Anthony in this world. We needed him so much.
When I moved to America I was incredibly inspired by the young Americans around me at university. The people I encountered were hugely adept at determining right from wrong without bringing politics into their decision making. I often wonder where all those beautiful citizens are now. Are they in one political camp against the other, or are they still the confidently righteous people I once knew?
Since January of 2017 life has felt like an annus and a half of horribilis without hope or end in sight. I feel so helpless I am turning to religion to help me through, even though I have considered myself an atheist for most of my life.
Deep Water Bay in Hong Kong
All I can think is: in a world this beautiful, things will have to turn out alright at some point, right?
Right?
Please tell me I am right.
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